How to keep track of what you owe people (and what they owe you)
Updated
Short answer: Keep one list with three kinds of item: replies you owe, answers you’re waiting on, and things you promised, each with the person and the date it’s due. Add them where they happen (email, Slack, meetings) the moment you notice them, look through the list twice a day, and order it by who’s waiting rather than by when it arrived.
Why do the things you owe people slip?
Because they live in different places. A question from a customer is in your inbox, one from a colleague is in a Slack thread, and the thing you said you’d send is in your meeting notes, or only in your head. None of those tools shows you obligations; they show you messages, and most messages don’t need you. The ones you’re waiting on are worse: nothing reminds you of an email that never arrived.
What goes on the list?
Four kinds of item, and what closes each
| Kind | Example | Where it starts | What closes it |
|---|---|---|---|
| A reply you owe | “Can you confirm the start date?” | Email, Slack, comments | You answer |
| An answer you’re waiting on | You asked Sam for the signed contract | Your sent email and Slack messages | They answer, or you stop waiting |
| A promise you made | “I’ll send the deck by Thursday” | Meetings, calls, threads | You deliver it, and say so |
| A promise made to you | “Priya will send the questionnaire” | Meetings and recaps | It arrives |
Leave everything else off: newsletters, FYIs, threads you’re copied on, and tasks with no one waiting on them, which belong in a to-do app. A list of what you owe stays short because every item has a person attached.
How do you catch them without a new habit for every tool?
- Email: star or label anything that needs a reply as soon as you read it, and turn on Gmail’s nudges (Settings → General → Nudges) so older ones come back.
- Slack: use “Remind me about this” or “Save for later” instead of leaving a message read and hoping to remember it.
- Meetings: before the meeting ends, read back who will do what by when, and write down both directions: what you promised and what was promised to you.
- Your own questions: when you ask someone for something that matters, note who and by when. It’s the item most people never write down.
How often should you look at it?
Twice a day is enough. In the morning, look at what’s due today and who has been waiting longest. At the end of the day, close what’s done, send the follow-ups that are due, and move what’s left to tomorrow on purpose rather than by default.
In what order?
By who’s waiting, not by when it arrived. First what someone is blocked on, then what’s due today, then quick replies you can clear in a minute each, then the rest. A short list in the right order is calmer than a long one in the wrong order.
Ways to keep the list
| Way | What it covers | Effort | Cost |
|---|---|---|---|
| Gmail stars and nudges | Replies and follow-ups in one Gmail inbox | Daily triage by you | Free |
| Slack reminders and Later | Slack messages | Daily triage by you | Free |
| A notes or to-do app | Anything you write into it | You copy every item in | Free to paid |
| Lowtide | All four kinds, across Gmail, Slack and meeting notes, with drafts | It finds them; you decide | Free during early access (Mac) |
Questions people ask
What’s the difference between a to-do list and a list of what you owe?
A to-do list holds tasks. A list of what you owe holds obligations to people: every item has someone waiting on it. That keeps it short, and it’s ordered by who’s waiting and when they need it, not by project.
How do I keep track of what people promised me?
Write it down as it’s said, with who and by when, and look again two or three working days later, or the day after the date they gave. If it hasn’t come, ask about the specific thing in a short, friendly message.
How do managers keep track of commitments across lots of meetings?
Close every meeting by reading back who does what by when, keep those items in the same list as email and Slack rather than in each meeting’s notes, and review that one list daily. Notes you never reopen don’t keep promises.